After a weekend full of oft-repeated denials, incessant phone calls from Star magazine and some rather ‘colorful’ and rambling voicemails from The Insider’s Pat O’Brien, I am left with little choice but to go public with news that I had hoped would remain a private announcement for family and close friends only.
So please, I only want to go on the record about this once. I would also hope that the stalkerazzi will heed my wishes and get out of the bushes in my front yard.
Yes, Bastards. It is true.
Brad Pitt did indeed file papers this weekend in Los Angeles Superior Court to finalize my adoption. I hope the press will observe my privacy as I confront the difficult dilemma of whether to adjust my monogram as per Jolie-Pitt or Pitt-Jolie.
(As to that other salacious rumor regarding me, a star NFL quarterback, a gay porn actor and that weekend at Las Palmas Hotel–I have no comment.)
It’s going to be one of those Mondays…
Will you be “acting up” your first few months with your new family in hopes that daddy Pitt will barehand paddle your ass? Will you be smoking a cigarette afterwards? I would. *exhale* Daddy I’ve been a baaaaaad boy.
kb
I want to hear about you, the NFL QB & the porn star!
Reluctantly Confirming The Rumor
LOL….